Brandthony

My cousin (and roommate) cracks on Twitter every a single day, especially since it’s shown up on every single TV show out right now. He hates Twitter, and here’s why. Do you think you can change his mind?

#5 “I don’t care what other people are doing when it’s stupid like, ‘I just ate a cracker, and it was good.’ Unless you’re tweeting, ‘I just lost my virginity,’ then maybe I might be interested because that’s just funny. I feel like if I don’t care what you’re doing, you don’t care what I’m doing, so why bother?”

#4 “I don’t like the terms ‘tweet’ and ‘follower.’ I’m not a follower, I’m a leader. And ‘tweet’ kinda sounds stupid. I can’t imagine going up to my friends and sayin, ‘Yo, I’m gonna tweet you later.”

#3 “It seems like it’s for kids. If you’re over 21, you shouldn’t be tweeting! Go do something adults do, like ACTUALLY talk to people.”

#2 “On Facebook, I can comment on what my friends write and other people can see it. It just makes more sense then replying and retweeting and all that complicated shit.”

#1 “It’s just not gonna last, it’s something that 10 years from now we’re gonna be like, ‘Yo, remember Twitter? Why don’t you ‘tweet’ me anymore?”

BONUS INSULT: “What are guys and girls gonna do now in social situations? They can’t get Twitter names anymore, how kids ever gonna date?”